Why Misery Loves Company — Don’t RSVP to That Event
There’s a saying that “misery loves company,” but if you’ve ever been invited to an event that feels more like a pity party than a celebration of life, you know there’s nothing uplifting about showing up. These gatherings, where negativity hangs in the air like stale cologne, are the emotional equivalent of being trapped at a bad dinner party with a never-ending plate of lukewarm peas. So, why do people keep hosting these events, and why are we tempted to RSVP? Let’s break it down—and why you should decline the invite.
The Hosts of Misery: The “Woe Is Me” Crowd
We all know them. The friend, family member, or colleague who thrives on complaining about everything, from the weather to the latest Netflix release. Their lives are a never-ending drama series where they’re the star victim. Instead of finding solutions or focusing on the good, they’ve mastered the art of wallowing—and they want an audience.
But here’s the catch: misery loves company not because it helps, but because it spreads. When you step into their circle of complaints, you risk being pulled into their vortex of negativity.
Why You’re Tempted to RSVP
Let’s be honest. Sometimes, we feel obligated. “What if they need me?” you think. “What if I’m the ray of sunshine that cheers them up?” Spoiler alert: you won’t be. People hosting pity parties aren’t looking for solutions; they’re looking for validation.
Or maybe you’re tempted because misery is seductive. It feels oddly comforting to join in a gripe-fest when you’re having a rough day yourself. But instead of lifting you up, it just drags you deeper.
The Hidden Costs of Attendance
Attending a “misery loves company” event comes with a price tag, and it’s not just the emotional energy you spend. These gatherings can:
• Drain your joy: You walk in feeling okay and leave questioning why the world is such a terrible place.
• Stall your growth: Misery is contagious, and spending time with negative people can make it harder for you to focus on the good in your own life.
• Reinforce unhealthy habits: Participating in constant negativity validates the idea that wallowing is normal, instead of addressing challenges with resilience and grace.
How to Politely Decline
So, how do you avoid RSVPing without feeling like a terrible person?
1. Be direct but kind. A simple, “I won’t be able to make it, but I hope things work out for you,” works wonders.
2. Change the subject. If they’re dragging you into misery during a conversation, redirect to something positive. “That sounds tough—have you tried [solution]?”
3. Protect your energy. Remember, saying no to negativity isn’t selfish. It’s self-care.
Choose Events That Uplift
Life is full of enough challenges without voluntarily signing up for more. Instead of RSVP-ing to a misery fest, look for opportunities to connect with people who inspire, motivate, and celebrate life. Surround yourself with those who make you laugh until your sides hurt, who share ideas instead of complaints, and who encourage you to grow.
Because the truth is, misery may love company, but joy throws the better party. So, don’t RSVP to the former—save your energy for the latter.
And remember, you’re not required to attend every event you’re invited to—especially the ones where the only thing on the menu is gloom.
Cheers to RSVP-ing to happiness instead!