Why the Heck is it Okay for the Washing Machine to Lie About the Time?

I don’t use my washing machine much. I’m blessed with a laundry person who handles the bulk of it, and what I don’t send out, well, it’s minimal. But once in a while, I dare to throw something in there myself, thinking, “Oh, I’ve got a spare 30 minutes. Perfect!” I foolishly trust that little LED screen when it tells me, “Six minutes left.” And then? Oh, then, the great waiting game begins.

Those “six minutes” stretch on like some sort of eternal test of patience. I mean, can we talk about the betrayal here? I am standing there like a sucker, only to realize that these washing machines might just be the most passive-aggressive appliance in our homes.

Why can’t the time work as it does on a microwave? When the microwave says “two minutes,” it means two minutes. When it counts down to zero, there’s no funny business—it just stops. Done. The food is either heated or not, but it’s over when it’s over. But this washing machine is like a friend who says, “Just five more minutes!” but really means “I’m barely out of bed.”

Is there some secret washing-machine-sorcery going on in there that makes “six minutes left” actually translate to another 15 minutes of fabric soaking, draining, tumbling, and… whatever else it’s doing? It’s like the machine thinks it has a reputation to uphold as the most dramatic appliance in the house, so it adds time just to keep us on our toes.

Imagine explaining this to someone from the ‘90s. “Oh, you’ll have a washing machine that talks to you! It’ll tell you how long your laundry has left!” And then they’re all, “Wow, futuristic!” What they didn’t tell us is that the machine also lies to your face about that time and makes you feel like a fool.

So, no, I don’t think I’m the only one. I can’t be. I bet there are others out there squinting at the machine’s timer, thinking, Is this thing gaslighting me? Because, honestly, it sure feels that way.