How Will You Vote?
Similar Views
When I met my husband, I discovered quickly that we have very similar if not identical political opinions. We both enjoy talking to one another about current events, the latest drama in the White House or on Capitol Hill, and even policy nuances. As politically active people, this is reassuring because we know we agree about the basic principles of society at the end of the day. Most of my friends are in similar relationships. Sure, every once in a while, one person will have a slightly different perspective, but it is not an earth-shattering divide. When election day comes around, my husband and I, along with my friends who are in similar marriages, vote the same ticket as our spouses.
Opposing Sides
Because my husband and I believe politics is so fundamental to how we get along, I am fascinated by couples who do not share the same views. In mainstream culture, we see disagreement on politics divide families (Jon Voight and Angelina Jolie), destroy friendships (Chelsea Clinton and Ivanka Trump), and fray romantic relationships (Kim Kardashian and Kanye West). A quick google search of this topic will show that I am not the only person curious how people circumvent this difference with a loved one. Many articles have been written in the past five years exploring what to do when you are attracted to your political contrast, including ones in the New York Times! Several suggest agreeing to disagree, but that answer does not satisfy me. If you and your partner have fundamentally different perspectives on how money should be spent, how do you budget as a family/couple?
How is it Done?
If I am describing your relationship with your spouse, please write in and tell me about your experience! Does disagreeing on politics cause stress in your relationship? Or does it make your conversations more interesting? What do you find yourself coming together on instead of politics? Do you have boundaries about what you are allowed to talk about with each other? At what point do you stop trying to persuade the other person to see things your way? Or do you never stop?
I write this inquiry from a place of zero judgement and pure curiosity. Maybe those of you who are in relationships with political disagreements have something to teach the rest of us about patience, empathy, and listening. Maybe you have found a way to connect on an even deeper level with your partner. Maybe the two of you have developed communication skills worthy of extreme envy. If this sounds like you, let me know! I would love to know your secret.
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