Sir, Did You Just Mean Girl Me?
Ah, the elusive art of the polite nod. That quick, effortless, almost imperceptible acknowledgment that says, Yes, I see you, but let’s not make this weird. It’s a simple act, really. Takes less effort than holding in a sneeze. And yet—some men refuse to do it. Instead, they go full Mean Girls on you. No eye contact, no nod, no “good morning”—just an icy, silent treatment that would make Regina George proud.
Now, let’s investigate this fascinating phenomenon.
Exhibit A: The “I’m Too Important” Type
This guy walks around like he’s the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, even if his biggest responsibility is deciding what’s for lunch. He refuses to say hello because he thinks it gives him an air of mystery. Sir, you’re not Batman. You work in accounting. Relax.
Exhibit B: The “Oh No, She Knows Who I Really Am” Guy
This one’s especially funny. He avoids you not because he dislikes you, but because he knows—you know. Maybe you’ve seen him in cargo shorts and Crocs at the grocery store, looking like a man who’s lost all hope. Or you overheard him struggling to order a latte (“Um, I’ll have the…uh…venti mocha frappale…uh…thing?”). He knows he’s been exposed. And instead of owning it, he just…vanishes.
Exhibit C: The Possibly Jelly One
Now, this is where things get weird. Why is he avoiding you? Is he…jealous? But why? He’s a man. He doesn’t need to be jealous of me…right? And yet, there he is, pretending he doesn’t see me in the hallway while simultaneously looking like he wants to punch the air. Sir, what exactly is your damage? Did I get the last good parking spot? Did I wear a better outfit? Do I exude confidence that reminds you of your own crippling insecurities? SPEAK.
Exhibit D: The Just Rude for No Reason Type
Ah, the classic case. You’ve exchanged maybe five words in your entire life, yet he acts like you personally sabotaged his childhood dreams. Every time he sees you, he turns into the human equivalent of an “access denied” page. Why? Who knows! Maybe he’s just built different. Maybe his mom never taught him that ignoring people is a bad look. Maybe he’s waiting for you to say hi first—because that, apparently, is the battle he has chosen in life.
Whatever Happened to Manners?
Seriously, what happened to the golden days when men tipped their hats, said “Good evening, ma’am,” and opened doors without looking like It just cost him money! I don’t need a grand gesture. Just a nod. A polite “hello.” A vague acknowledgment that I am, in fact, a person in the same space as you.
But no. Instead, we get men who think nodding is an act of submission, like they’re about to lose a medieval duel if they acknowledge your existence.
So, to all the men out there dodging eye contact like it’s an Olympic sport: We see you. We know what you’re doing. And honestly, it’s kind of embarrassing. Give the nod. Say hello. A little courtesy won’t hurt you.
And if it does? Well, at least you did it with dignity!