Menopause & Mental Health: Why No One Talks About the Dark Side

Menopause. They tell you about the hot flashes, the night sweats, the weight gain, and the mood swings. But what they don’t tell you—what no one really talks about—is the darkness that can creep in. The kind that feels like it’s swallowing you whole.

For many women, menopause isn’t just an end to periods; it’s an identity crisis, a betrayal by their own body, and, for some, a full-blown battle with depression and anxiety. And yet, we whisper about it in hushed tones, as if struggling with mental health during this stage of life is something to be ashamed of.

Well, let’s talk about it.

The Hormonal Shift That No One Warns You About

We spend most of our lives adapting to our hormones—first as young girls dealing with puberty, then navigating pregnancy, postpartum shifts, or years of birth control. But menopause? That’s a whole different beast.

Estrogen and progesterone don’t just regulate your reproductive system; they play a massive role in serotonin, dopamine, and other chemicals that control mood. When those hormones decline, the effects can be brutal:

• Deep sadness or depression that feels impossible to shake

• Uncontrollable anxiety that makes no logical sense

• Extreme irritability—like rage you don’t even recognize in yourself

• Brain fog that makes you question your intelligence and memory

• A loss of joy in things that once lit you up

And here’s the kicker: doctors often dismiss these symptoms as just “a normal part of aging.”

The Isolation & Shame That Make It Worse

The worst part? The loneliness. Society teaches us that menopause is something to “get through” quietly, like it’s our job to suffer in silence. Women going through it don’t always talk about it—sometimes out of embarrassment, sometimes because they don’t even realize what’s happening to them.

We see celebrities embracing their silver hair, talking about empowerment, but what about the ones who feel like they’re drowning? Where are their stories?

What You Can Do When the Darkness Hits

If you’ve been struggling with your mental health in menopause, I want you to hear this: You are not crazy, you are not weak, and you are not alone.

1. Acknowledge That This Is Real

Menopause-related depression and anxiety are real medical issues—not personality flaws. The first step is acknowledging that your emotions are valid and that what you’re experiencing is biological, not just “in your head.”

2. Get Your Hormones Checked

A full hormone panel (not just a basic blood test) can help determine if hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or other treatments might help. Not every doctor is well-versed in menopause, so if your provider dismisses you, find another doctor.

3. Talk to Someone

Therapy can be a game-changer. Whether it’s traditional counseling, a menopause coach, or even just a support group, talking to someone who understands can lift the weight of isolation.

4. Prioritize Mental Health Treatments

• Medication: If you’re struggling, antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds may help bridge the gap.

• Lifestyle Changes: Exercise, gut health, and sleep routines can help stabilize mood.

• Mindfulness & Meditation: Even if you think it’s not for you, deep breathing and grounding exercises can ease anxiety attacks.

5. Find Your Tribe

This journey is hard enough without trying to do it alone. Find a group of women who get it—whether that’s a Facebook group, an in-person community, or even just a friend who listens without judgment.

6. Give Yourself Grace

You’ve spent decades taking care of everyone else. Maybe it’s time to take care of yourself—unapologetically. If that means saying no more often, taking time for yourself, or completely reevaluating what makes you happy, so be it.

It’s Time to Change the Narrative

Menopause isn’t just “the next phase of life.” It can be one of the hardest transitions a woman ever faces—physically, emotionally, and mentally. It can bring grief, rage, exhaustion, and, for some, an entirely new identity.

But talking about it—really talking about it—can be life-saving.

If you’re in the darkness right now, please don’t suffer in silence. You deserve support. You deserve to feel like yourself again. And most of all, you deserve to know that menopause might change you, but it does not define you.

Let’s start the conversation. Let’s break the silence. Because the dark side of menopause is real—but so is hope. And please talk to your doctor or therapist or friend get help today !